"It pains when u fail.. but it pains worse still when u see ur friend succeed in what you have just failed..!!" A statement that tells the tale of most souls.. many will deny this at the word go.. But then.. just fail for once and see.. U'll realize the stark truth in this particular pithy one liner.
Alright, results were just out, I've shed my share of tears, Now is the time I want to see myself smiling. And all u people out there too.. But then I just realised that there's a lot going on about the world meeting its doom on the 21st December 2012.
Hmmm.. the scientists would be the first to dismiss the theory followed by Businessmen who've invested heavily in projects that will yield its revenues only after the prospective date. Also bickering in line would be the Chinese who want to see themselves being termed the nation with the biggest GDP status before apocalypse occurs. And of course Rakhi Sawant who would nt have found her 'Made for me in heaven' Groom till then.. and even 10 years henceforth.
It seems highly unlikely that the our Thanatos or Yama would mind postponing their visit to humor the likes of our celebrity spinster women.. So lets consider for a moment that the world indeed was coming to an end this December.. I would ask myself if I was ready with my bucket list. (And for those who have nt seen the epic of Morgan freeman, its a list where in you pen down the things you want to do before you die.. and also try accomplishing it)
It might be a taboo for some to think of coming up with this..But think of the impending doom again.. Now you are on track.. OK.. So if the world were to come to and end this December, what is the one place you want to go?? Who is the one person you want to meet?? Is nt there something crazy you'd always wanted to do?? DOnt you want to ask someone if she wanted to spend the rest of her life with you.. however short its gonna be..??
Some want to board an aircraft for once, some want feeling of a family reunion. While some yearn for bitter family feuds to be done with while some for that elusive kiss.. Its a different list for everyone. But imagine if we could try and fulfill most of those this one year..?? Not caring of an outcome for the world is coming to an end anyway..??
Its been a painful life for some and for some its been life amidst the pain. You sure you have a list, and you sure you want to accomplish the unaccomplished. And you've needed a reason.. Now U've got a reason..
U might think what if the world does not really end this year?? Well there lies the beauty.. you've achieved all that you always wanted. Its only after the feeling of being given a second life do you see a give a new outlook to life. I assure you, come what may, the life will be the most beautiful this way.
As a good friend of mine said " Some say life is short, but they fail to understand that its the longest thing they ll ever get to do "
Go.. Live ur life
Sumit:)
Friday, January 13, 2012
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Shit I realised..
"People ask the question... what's a RocknRolla? And I tell 'em - it's not about drums, drugs, and hospital drips, oh no. There's more there than that, my friend. We all like a bit of the good life - some the money, some the drugs, others the sex game, the glamour, or the fame. But a RocknRolla, oh, he's different. Why? Because a real RocknRolla wants the whole fucking lot."
Well.. So who wants to be a Rocknrolla, I see hands rising but wait a second, turn to a mirror and bitch slap yourself. U'll get a feel of the bitter truth in front of your eyes.. So, its been 23 years in life
U've got no money, no drugs, forget the sex game..
Glamor's the least fond of you and no prospective fame..
Now.. I would worry a little..
I hear the world is now brimming with oafs who've achieved disgusting heights of greatness for no fault of theirs.. Picture this.. who in the world would've thought that a school going kid with feline characteristics would date a kid that my room mate lusts after, has earned millions which probably would nt equal even the cumulative wealth(Stashed under the ground and in banks) of my known pedigree. Worst of all, he has his songs blaring from the 1500 Watt speakers of college going adults and employed kids who go 'Baby Baby' at the slightest provocation.
And I am here wondering what have I done till date..
Even the once fragile, and now Gabru jawaan Harbhajan Singh constantly mocks humble souls like ours by claiming repeatedly "Its my life.. I have made it large.. Have you??" I cannot jump walls and neither can dance at uninvited parties.. probably that is why I have n't made it large..
On reminding myself of the feats that people have accomplished by the time time they were 23 makes me feel even more miserable. Nadia Comaneci won her Olympic gold when she was 14(Closest I've come is a 2nd place in frog jump). Mark Zuckerberg became a millionaire when he was 22(Although even I have earned Rs.1000 for a very noble cause that cant be discussed in public). Britney Spears got divorced twice before she was 23(and I have only managed to read the profiles of people who've done so..)
And most importantly, Rajnikanth never looks like he has aged beyond 23.. and he never will..
The worst part is I will be turning 30 shortly.. and so will you.. and then there might be the same story to tell.. No progress made in life.. The truth is.. it hurts when a kid calls you by name.. but it hurts even more when he calls you Uncle..more so when its a lacklustre life that you've led. If there's one thing that bothers me.. is when my ugly kids ask me "Dad Tell us something interesting that you've done in life.. and all that I will be able to think of is the episode when I got snubbed in the mall of chennai hoping to hit on random chicks with the self assumed super smart question of "Hey.. Do you know if Naomi Watts is a Black or White", hoping for her to confuse it with Naomi Campbell or not know it at all (What a silly Racist bastard I am..!). But Hell yeah.. It was challenging.. Bet you try something stupid and then laugh..
To sum it up.. its not about having earned loads of money or for living for the fame.. it is only about Experience.. Have you felt what it feels like to run when you should be walking, have you known how it feels to walk in the rain holding hands with the one you love.. have you felt the chill down your spine when you waited long for someone at shit she's right there and you cant speak.. Have you felt the pride in your parents eyes.. Have you felt the warm hug that every tiny force in its grip means it.. Have you felt the pain.. of loss.. of defeat.. Have you actually lived your life.. Have you.. Kudos if you have...!!
Well.. So who wants to be a Rocknrolla, I see hands rising but wait a second, turn to a mirror and bitch slap yourself. U'll get a feel of the bitter truth in front of your eyes.. So, its been 23 years in life
U've got no money, no drugs, forget the sex game..
Glamor's the least fond of you and no prospective fame..
Now.. I would worry a little..
I hear the world is now brimming with oafs who've achieved disgusting heights of greatness for no fault of theirs.. Picture this.. who in the world would've thought that a school going kid with feline characteristics would date a kid that my room mate lusts after, has earned millions which probably would nt equal even the cumulative wealth(Stashed under the ground and in banks) of my known pedigree. Worst of all, he has his songs blaring from the 1500 Watt speakers of college going adults and employed kids who go 'Baby Baby' at the slightest provocation.
And I am here wondering what have I done till date..
Even the once fragile, and now Gabru jawaan Harbhajan Singh constantly mocks humble souls like ours by claiming repeatedly "Its my life.. I have made it large.. Have you??" I cannot jump walls and neither can dance at uninvited parties.. probably that is why I have n't made it large..
On reminding myself of the feats that people have accomplished by the time time they were 23 makes me feel even more miserable. Nadia Comaneci won her Olympic gold when she was 14(Closest I've come is a 2nd place in frog jump). Mark Zuckerberg became a millionaire when he was 22(Although even I have earned Rs.1000 for a very noble cause that cant be discussed in public). Britney Spears got divorced twice before she was 23(and I have only managed to read the profiles of people who've done so..)
And most importantly, Rajnikanth never looks like he has aged beyond 23.. and he never will..
The worst part is I will be turning 30 shortly.. and so will you.. and then there might be the same story to tell.. No progress made in life.. The truth is.. it hurts when a kid calls you by name.. but it hurts even more when he calls you Uncle..more so when its a lacklustre life that you've led. If there's one thing that bothers me.. is when my ugly kids ask me "Dad Tell us something interesting that you've done in life.. and all that I will be able to think of is the episode when I got snubbed in the mall of chennai hoping to hit on random chicks with the self assumed super smart question of "Hey.. Do you know if Naomi Watts is a Black or White", hoping for her to confuse it with Naomi Campbell or not know it at all (What a silly Racist bastard I am..!). But Hell yeah.. It was challenging.. Bet you try something stupid and then laugh..
To sum it up.. its not about having earned loads of money or for living for the fame.. it is only about Experience.. Have you felt what it feels like to run when you should be walking, have you known how it feels to walk in the rain holding hands with the one you love.. have you felt the chill down your spine when you waited long for someone at shit she's right there and you cant speak.. Have you felt the pride in your parents eyes.. Have you felt the warm hug that every tiny force in its grip means it.. Have you felt the pain.. of loss.. of defeat.. Have you actually lived your life.. Have you.. Kudos if you have...!!
Monday, August 15, 2011
Living a lie..
I lie on my bed coughing a hoarse cry
I am old and my life is done and still I cease to die
Its just a question that i wanted to ask myself
Have I lived a lie??
The bucks were earned, the women spurned
And the youth mighty well spent where eye was returned for an eye
The infirm age haunts me to ask
Have I not lived a lie.
The highest peaks were scaled for fun, jumps were made from the skies
Lived a life that demanded respect, there's not a thing that I did n't try
Yet the conscience speaks from within and earnestly beseeches..
Why .. why did you live a lie??
And the day will shortly arrive, when men will whimper and cry
For their moribund life will cease to exist as the days pass by
And then when he bids his final good bye, he will still have no answer to
"Why did I live a lie, Why did I live a lie??"
Sumit
I am old and my life is done and still I cease to die
Its just a question that i wanted to ask myself
Have I lived a lie??
The bucks were earned, the women spurned
And the youth mighty well spent where eye was returned for an eye
The infirm age haunts me to ask
Have I not lived a lie.
The highest peaks were scaled for fun, jumps were made from the skies
Lived a life that demanded respect, there's not a thing that I did n't try
Yet the conscience speaks from within and earnestly beseeches..
Why .. why did you live a lie??
And the day will shortly arrive, when men will whimper and cry
For their moribund life will cease to exist as the days pass by
And then when he bids his final good bye, he will still have no answer to
"Why did I live a lie, Why did I live a lie??"
Sumit
The One
The heart is worth a million bucks, but not all that one needs to know
The whims of one might match a star for others might just say a NO
A mighty heart once had a wish that called for a stroke of luck
It passed his head night and day, and the thought was all that stuck
A laborious errand some mates yelled and some lampooned the aspire
some dismissed it as a thought in lust some claimed it pristine desire
what started as a thought in jest turned an obsession, he did decree
no mortal force could hold him back for twelve was four times three.
'what I am looking for is simple, a chore nothing like the ones of yore' did he quip.
All i look for is the finest damsel with a mole on the upper lip
The cities were searched the towns were done and so were all places under the sun..
the luckless lad now turns to you. "Did you happen to spot the one??"
Sumit:)
The whims of one might match a star for others might just say a NO
A mighty heart once had a wish that called for a stroke of luck
It passed his head night and day, and the thought was all that stuck
A laborious errand some mates yelled and some lampooned the aspire
some dismissed it as a thought in lust some claimed it pristine desire
what started as a thought in jest turned an obsession, he did decree
no mortal force could hold him back for twelve was four times three.
'what I am looking for is simple, a chore nothing like the ones of yore' did he quip.
All i look for is the finest damsel with a mole on the upper lip
The cities were searched the towns were done and so were all places under the sun..
the luckless lad now turns to you. "Did you happen to spot the one??"
Sumit:)
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Bullsshit day
Its a little difficult to know where to start when you dont know what to start with.. But..,
When your eyes are moist and heart filled with fear.. at the thought that he, whom u called your friend is nowhere near..
But you convince yourself for your heart is a fool that my friend might not be here.. but he is here, somewhere here, somewhere near..
Hmmm.. sentiap ki dukaan.. one might say..but its come out well.. has nt it?
I am a bore.. so is this world.. to come up with a day for everything, every damn occasion.. from the most frivolous of things to the highly arcane and sophisticated. Picture this I just figured that there is a 'World Husbands harassed by wife day' when the Husbands use the equally battered husbands shoulder to weep and weep more, or the 'International kiss day' when one is supposed to land a kiss on any hapless living soul encountered. And the target has to take things in the right spirit it seems(God knows what spirit is being referred to) and also The international give me a job day.. well the title speaks for itself.. I wont go any further(wink wink).
Ok.. so one might ask what is the deal.. there is no deal, but the irony lies in the fact that what after the day has passed.. and the celebration and the gaiety is over?? Done?? Thats it? Well.. to Celebrate is one thing but then to celebrate and then forget is another, which seems to be the case in every darn day celebrated. I am writing this only because i need some fodder as a subject that will make people read, but then think over it for a moment. Why do we remember our friends only on this god forsaken First Sunday of every August and that which we are reminded after we see the umpteen posts and tags on facebook.
I just want to say that my friends mean what they do not on a friendship day or because its 'The Sunday', its the normal and same way you felt on any other day. And the fault is at my end if I call or message you once a year to wish you on this day not keeping in mind the 364 days that I have missed. The bottomline is
Miss me my friend and scold me when i m late
Beat me my friend and wish me too..
but not only when its the first Sunday of an August in 2008.
-Cheers guys
Happy Friendship Day;)
When your eyes are moist and heart filled with fear.. at the thought that he, whom u called your friend is nowhere near..
But you convince yourself for your heart is a fool that my friend might not be here.. but he is here, somewhere here, somewhere near..
Hmmm.. sentiap ki dukaan.. one might say..but its come out well.. has nt it?
I am a bore.. so is this world.. to come up with a day for everything, every damn occasion.. from the most frivolous of things to the highly arcane and sophisticated. Picture this I just figured that there is a 'World Husbands harassed by wife day' when the Husbands use the equally battered husbands shoulder to weep and weep more, or the 'International kiss day' when one is supposed to land a kiss on any hapless living soul encountered. And the target has to take things in the right spirit it seems(God knows what spirit is being referred to) and also The international give me a job day.. well the title speaks for itself.. I wont go any further(wink wink).
Ok.. so one might ask what is the deal.. there is no deal, but the irony lies in the fact that what after the day has passed.. and the celebration and the gaiety is over?? Done?? Thats it? Well.. to Celebrate is one thing but then to celebrate and then forget is another, which seems to be the case in every darn day celebrated. I am writing this only because i need some fodder as a subject that will make people read, but then think over it for a moment. Why do we remember our friends only on this god forsaken First Sunday of every August and that which we are reminded after we see the umpteen posts and tags on facebook.
I just want to say that my friends mean what they do not on a friendship day or because its 'The Sunday', its the normal and same way you felt on any other day. And the fault is at my end if I call or message you once a year to wish you on this day not keeping in mind the 364 days that I have missed. The bottomline is
Miss me my friend and scold me when i m late
Beat me my friend and wish me too..
but not only when its the first Sunday of an August in 2008.
-Cheers guys
Happy Friendship Day;)
Saturday, July 23, 2011
This is TML
Disclaimer: All the views expressed in this blog are perfectly my own. The views bear no resemblance to any person dead or living although it has been written considering a few close friends of mine in mind. Just read along and enjoy.
PETA:
There are 2 kinds of players.. those who play for the betterment of their game.. and those who play to entertain the galleries.. and then I met the third kind.. Those who play Dota!!
They are are the esoteric lot, hard to decode and equally hard to tame.. They might have their share of issues with languages but they are the Samsons of today's world. They seem to beat even the fanciful and the all powerful in a fight(or they believe so). The world might meet its armageddon, but they have only one solace..
"The world may come to an end fast..
But I will be the one driving at last"
ATIT:
Have you read about Medussa in the greek mythology, If you have n't dont bother you can see it here, the only difference being that the creatures on the head are kind of inanimate, no less scary though..!! The medussa of the mortal world never gave a damn about what others thought about them. They are a part of the clan that can drive you away from a modest distance of a few kilometres by the aroma of their pious sweat formed as a result of penance for days in a stretch and i bet you wont be able to make out if the rigorous penance is still in the undertaking(rigorous for other mortal souls.. he is superhuman Medussa remember). But he is smart.. dont you dare doubt that..!
KUNOL:
Ever encountered a housefly in a dark room that you cant get rid off, and is continuously buzzing around your ear. Its been a tiring day day and you want some peaceful sleep but the fly just wont buzz off.. yoy swear. you curse but to no avail. But hey, guess what, you just discovered that the fly was homossexual. wow.. never heard of a homosexual fly. So you take pity in a poor creature that has a lot to suffer and let the fly buzzzzzz.. Thats about it!!
MADRCHO:
Ok... the conversation is got long and boring.. need something small and sassy. Tan-da-tan. Here we got the coomplete package. With an accent that seems native to Jupiter or something. Actually some people from US with whom he was working on some kinda project thought that they had discovered evidence for some Extra Terrestrial Intelligence when they heard him on the phone. Poor souls, missed their nobel.
G2:
Something's missing.. the X factor, oh.. I got it.. the Mademoiselle.. "Dugh Sumthren ough nion dan"
She is the modern version of the circus clown.. no she is nt lunatic, nor has she been diagnosed with the Down's Syndrome, she just saw a few creatures like the housefly of ours and she has been chronically laughing ever since. We just found out that when watching a movie, a highly emotional scene cut to length could make her go into hysterical laughter with uncontrolled spasms, and a scene that is actually made to tickle a bone sends her into deep depression/coma. Nothing is wrong with her I assure you though.
BALZ:
He is claimed to be the vile and malevolent plunderer who carried four guns with him in his previous birth. This story apparently was verified when he was sedated and forcibly taken for the show "Raaz pichle janam ka" but the show ceased to be telecasted for its overly adult content(apparently the crimes he did in his previous birth). The crowd in his land (lets call it rampur of Sholay) still believes that he carries a gun along with a leather belt and is on the hunt for an assistant and wants to coronate him Samba..!! Almost everyday he is joined by a few cliques of his who go drinking and break into a jig at the song Mehbooba Mehbooba from Sholay, adding credence to the fact that his last birth's story might actually be true.
OK:
Rumour has it that Dalai Lama is looking for a successor and his search has led him to a highly posh apartment called Metro***** where resides our Laughing buddha. Mr. Lama is claimed to have heard the stories of how our chota buddha healed people by his magic mantra "Life is OK". If sources are to be believed, a crazy girl who had just broken up with his boyfriend and was mentally unstable came to our Magic baba,(who unlike other babas rarely removes his clothes.. wonder how he takes bath) healed her even just by quoting his magic mantra. Truly magical is our baba but sources also say that he will have to live a life of celibacy after being entrusted as the Dalai lama leading to some marital discord in his unmarried life. We wish him all the best. After all Life is OK.
G1:
After the advent and cult status of Lady gaga and Justin Beiber , there is a possibility of a complete rockstar emanating from the desi Ranches of R****pur, India. The public claims that she isa vicious dancer, has the singing prowess and off late has enhanced her Guitar skills too(although the guitar sounds better in her hand when held for display). On being questioned, she commented " who said women from India cant become universal rockstars.. Did nt Indira Nooyi become the CEO of Pepsi?" Uhh.. Umm.. we blinked at the comparison.. but whatever. When asked what would she name herself on becoming the much awaited rockstar, pat came the reply 'Baby Bai'. Pretty innovative indeed.
DJ:
Rabri Devi visited the city recently and she was surprised to find the a younger Laloo Yadav here. She ran into her arms when our Dear brother shunned her off telling "Hamri gayya doodh nahi de rahi aur hum Laloo jadav nahi hoon'.
He further showed his ears as proof which surprisingly did not have enough hair(which sources say was a could ve been accomplished only as a result of the hugely popular brand Veet..!!) Mrs. Devi then apologised to our Mr. Eligible Bachelor for her unsolicited Public Display of Affection. She further said that our Mr. Eligible Bachelor truly resembled her Hubby and reminded her of the olden days where they used to sing Rajesh Khanna's songs in Sarson ke khet and refrained from answering what she would do next in the khet. Anyway.. a superb compliment Mr. Bachelor, I would say.
SHANGY:
"What is one thing that you hate the most?" was the question I asked this Dude and his answer left me bewildered to an extent that I could nt ask anything further..
His answer was "balwantrai ke Kutte" Kyunki unhone Sunny Paaji ko bahut sataya hai
Such an ardent fan of Sunny Paaji he is that he has tried emulating the handpump scene from Gadar n number of times and leaving his family without water for days together. "Everyone in my family has tried this", he says "and now just ask anyone to do it and they will do it to perfection.. same to same as sunny paaji did"
He also added the 1/2 of GDP of Punjab is because of sunny paaji and that any film he has done will be watched again and again including Arjun Pandit and Champion. On being invited for a grand show of sunny paaji on a back to back basis, I could not decline for the fear of backlash and the handpump being stabbed in my head. Jai ho sunny paaji.
BHAI:
Heard the story of Inspector Chulbul Pandey from Bihar?? He wanted to tackle the menace of Eve teasing and other forms of female exploitation. The incumbent officer devised an innovative plan. He decided to celebrate everyday as Raksha bandhan and immediately asked any girl he met to tie a rakhi on his manly hand. What he expected was that he would be the source of inspiration donning the mantle of change for the others, much to his dismay he became an example of what not to do in life. It is after this incident that scool kids amended the national pledge saying "All Indians are my brothers and Chulbul Pandey's sisters". Truly a hero gone in vain.
APS:
And then there is the story of the smiling sardar who was the inspiration of the smiley scene in Forrest Gump. His philosophy of life is to be happy come what may. Although his philosophy works at times, at other times its a disaster. Picture the fact when his boss was furious at him for not having completed his work and all that his did was smile. He ended up doing his own and the boss' work. His reason for not doing what his Girl friend wants was also summed up in style.. with a smile. its another fact that she almost dumped him until he resorted to mend his ways.
KURUKSHETAR:
The Hulk starred Edward Norton, but then there is also news that the female version of Hulk is soon to hit the screens. The nominees shortlisted have been a lucky lady who happens to be a friend of mine. Such is the passion to star in the movie that she has practicing how to pose in the movie ever since. Right from practicing that perfect smile to replicating that perfect angle in the shot, she has been doing everything. And exercising too. Much to the chagrin of others, she hogs the limelight by posing for every photo and making sure she is present in every pic. The public love her for being able to make this far but hate her for spoiling every pic. A poor soul sas" She might be a celebrity, but that does give her the right to intrude in every pic, we need our space too". Even the female folks are nt enjoying this too much and prefer to keep her out of the pic, but she just wont oblige.
SSINGH:
there is this friend of mine who is a die hard drunkard. Not literally and not figuratively either. Give him chicken and he ll rape the chicken. Give him booze and he ll rape all others. seemingly true. One who loses all senses to the extent that he answer simple questions like 1+1=1. That is accepted.. but some other things are nt. Anyway cheers to my friend.
AMIT:
Its a bird, Its a plane.. No its spiderman.. well actually, this spiderman's alter ego is a dude named *mitwa.. He is just like spiderman.. He can ride bikes.. and fall off them.. he can ride bikes again and again fall off them.. ride again and fall off again.. phew.. He just does nt seem to get tired. This, to the extent that kids now are having a small toy of karijma and their hero spidey at some distance from the toy(to show that he just fell). On being asked what he thought of the kids.. he replied" these kids are evil.. they derive pleasure from others pains.. leave them in bihar for a month with me.. "aisa maar maarenge na.. ki saas yaad dilaa denge"
Wel.. in any way.. we love you spidey;)
KK
If there is something called cult patriotism, it emanates from one person, our very own friend KK. The fervent patriotism that he exhibits might put even the Thakrey's to shame. It all started after he watched the cult movie Deshdrohi and it has left an indelible mark on the immpressionable mind. Jai maharashtra and Jai Colapur are the only greetings acceptable to him, thereby forcing him to join a company dominated by Maharashtrians. So much is the frenzy that the song ati kya khandala is heard as aati kya Colapur in his laptop. Once a kid who had lost his way asked Mr. KK which way dilli ki gali was and the what happened after was indeed a spectacle. He took a stone from the ground, bludgeoned the kid's finger after he did that to himself and asked the Kid, "Ye Maharashtra ka khoon, Ye Dilli wale ka khoon, Bataa kaunsa mera khoon kaunsa tera khoon".The kid wailed and sad.. "Mujhe Kya pataa" Uhh.. Umm.. Well.. Mr.KK got the question wrong and could only come up with the reply "Can you repeat the question??"
Mantha:
Thank god that Mantha is not born a protestant. You must ve heard about the Seven Deadly Sins, Well, Mantha would be serving the gates of purgatory seven days a week for 365 days for it is only one sin that he commits everyday. 'Gluttony'. So, one deadly sin multiplied n times, where n tends to infinity, bechara calculus.. even that is scared to arrive at an answer. I tried finding out how he manages to remain hungry all the while and pat came the reply ' Did you know about the bovine animals like cows keep stock of food in their stomach and re eat them when actually hungry. See its scientific science has an answer for all.. and people call me adjectives like bakasur, Ghatotkach, Hungry Panda for no reason. After all the world is comin to an end in 2012. So i am being watchful and acting smart.." He further added that he would ve liked to quote chatur Ramalingam from 3 Idiots." End mein main Hansoonga aur tum sab ro oge.. Huhuaaaaaa".. Well.. we do shed tears when we come to think of your offspings Mantha.. Junior Bakaasurs.. lol;)!!
And for the ones i've missed out.. I m tired.. may be I ll continue some other day.. till then i hope u've read and enjoyed;);)
PETA:
There are 2 kinds of players.. those who play for the betterment of their game.. and those who play to entertain the galleries.. and then I met the third kind.. Those who play Dota!!
They are are the esoteric lot, hard to decode and equally hard to tame.. They might have their share of issues with languages but they are the Samsons of today's world. They seem to beat even the fanciful and the all powerful in a fight(or they believe so). The world might meet its armageddon, but they have only one solace..
"The world may come to an end fast..
But I will be the one driving at last"
ATIT:
Have you read about Medussa in the greek mythology, If you have n't dont bother you can see it here, the only difference being that the creatures on the head are kind of inanimate, no less scary though..!! The medussa of the mortal world never gave a damn about what others thought about them. They are a part of the clan that can drive you away from a modest distance of a few kilometres by the aroma of their pious sweat formed as a result of penance for days in a stretch and i bet you wont be able to make out if the rigorous penance is still in the undertaking(rigorous for other mortal souls.. he is superhuman Medussa remember). But he is smart.. dont you dare doubt that..!
KUNOL:
Ever encountered a housefly in a dark room that you cant get rid off, and is continuously buzzing around your ear. Its been a tiring day day and you want some peaceful sleep but the fly just wont buzz off.. yoy swear. you curse but to no avail. But hey, guess what, you just discovered that the fly was homossexual. wow.. never heard of a homosexual fly. So you take pity in a poor creature that has a lot to suffer and let the fly buzzzzzz.. Thats about it!!
MADRCHO:
Ok... the conversation is got long and boring.. need something small and sassy. Tan-da-tan. Here we got the coomplete package. With an accent that seems native to Jupiter or something. Actually some people from US with whom he was working on some kinda project thought that they had discovered evidence for some Extra Terrestrial Intelligence when they heard him on the phone. Poor souls, missed their nobel.
G2:
Something's missing.. the X factor, oh.. I got it.. the Mademoiselle.. "Dugh Sumthren ough nion dan"
She is the modern version of the circus clown.. no she is nt lunatic, nor has she been diagnosed with the Down's Syndrome, she just saw a few creatures like the housefly of ours and she has been chronically laughing ever since. We just found out that when watching a movie, a highly emotional scene cut to length could make her go into hysterical laughter with uncontrolled spasms, and a scene that is actually made to tickle a bone sends her into deep depression/coma. Nothing is wrong with her I assure you though.
BALZ:
He is claimed to be the vile and malevolent plunderer who carried four guns with him in his previous birth. This story apparently was verified when he was sedated and forcibly taken for the show "Raaz pichle janam ka" but the show ceased to be telecasted for its overly adult content(apparently the crimes he did in his previous birth). The crowd in his land (lets call it rampur of Sholay) still believes that he carries a gun along with a leather belt and is on the hunt for an assistant and wants to coronate him Samba..!! Almost everyday he is joined by a few cliques of his who go drinking and break into a jig at the song Mehbooba Mehbooba from Sholay, adding credence to the fact that his last birth's story might actually be true.
OK:
Rumour has it that Dalai Lama is looking for a successor and his search has led him to a highly posh apartment called Metro***** where resides our Laughing buddha. Mr. Lama is claimed to have heard the stories of how our chota buddha healed people by his magic mantra "Life is OK". If sources are to be believed, a crazy girl who had just broken up with his boyfriend and was mentally unstable came to our Magic baba,(who unlike other babas rarely removes his clothes.. wonder how he takes bath) healed her even just by quoting his magic mantra. Truly magical is our baba but sources also say that he will have to live a life of celibacy after being entrusted as the Dalai lama leading to some marital discord in his unmarried life. We wish him all the best. After all Life is OK.
G1:
After the advent and cult status of Lady gaga and Justin Beiber , there is a possibility of a complete rockstar emanating from the desi Ranches of R****pur, India. The public claims that she isa vicious dancer, has the singing prowess and off late has enhanced her Guitar skills too(although the guitar sounds better in her hand when held for display). On being questioned, she commented " who said women from India cant become universal rockstars.. Did nt Indira Nooyi become the CEO of Pepsi?" Uhh.. Umm.. we blinked at the comparison.. but whatever. When asked what would she name herself on becoming the much awaited rockstar, pat came the reply 'Baby Bai'. Pretty innovative indeed.
DJ:
Rabri Devi visited the city recently and she was surprised to find the a younger Laloo Yadav here. She ran into her arms when our Dear brother shunned her off telling "Hamri gayya doodh nahi de rahi aur hum Laloo jadav nahi hoon'.
He further showed his ears as proof which surprisingly did not have enough hair(which sources say was a could ve been accomplished only as a result of the hugely popular brand Veet..!!) Mrs. Devi then apologised to our Mr. Eligible Bachelor for her unsolicited Public Display of Affection. She further said that our Mr. Eligible Bachelor truly resembled her Hubby and reminded her of the olden days where they used to sing Rajesh Khanna's songs in Sarson ke khet and refrained from answering what she would do next in the khet. Anyway.. a superb compliment Mr. Bachelor, I would say.
SHANGY:
"What is one thing that you hate the most?" was the question I asked this Dude and his answer left me bewildered to an extent that I could nt ask anything further..
His answer was "balwantrai ke Kutte" Kyunki unhone Sunny Paaji ko bahut sataya hai
Such an ardent fan of Sunny Paaji he is that he has tried emulating the handpump scene from Gadar n number of times and leaving his family without water for days together. "Everyone in my family has tried this", he says "and now just ask anyone to do it and they will do it to perfection.. same to same as sunny paaji did"
He also added the 1/2 of GDP of Punjab is because of sunny paaji and that any film he has done will be watched again and again including Arjun Pandit and Champion. On being invited for a grand show of sunny paaji on a back to back basis, I could not decline for the fear of backlash and the handpump being stabbed in my head. Jai ho sunny paaji.
BHAI:
Heard the story of Inspector Chulbul Pandey from Bihar?? He wanted to tackle the menace of Eve teasing and other forms of female exploitation. The incumbent officer devised an innovative plan. He decided to celebrate everyday as Raksha bandhan and immediately asked any girl he met to tie a rakhi on his manly hand. What he expected was that he would be the source of inspiration donning the mantle of change for the others, much to his dismay he became an example of what not to do in life. It is after this incident that scool kids amended the national pledge saying "All Indians are my brothers and Chulbul Pandey's sisters". Truly a hero gone in vain.
APS:
And then there is the story of the smiling sardar who was the inspiration of the smiley scene in Forrest Gump. His philosophy of life is to be happy come what may. Although his philosophy works at times, at other times its a disaster. Picture the fact when his boss was furious at him for not having completed his work and all that his did was smile. He ended up doing his own and the boss' work. His reason for not doing what his Girl friend wants was also summed up in style.. with a smile. its another fact that she almost dumped him until he resorted to mend his ways.
KURUKSHETAR:
The Hulk starred Edward Norton, but then there is also news that the female version of Hulk is soon to hit the screens. The nominees shortlisted have been a lucky lady who happens to be a friend of mine. Such is the passion to star in the movie that she has practicing how to pose in the movie ever since. Right from practicing that perfect smile to replicating that perfect angle in the shot, she has been doing everything. And exercising too. Much to the chagrin of others, she hogs the limelight by posing for every photo and making sure she is present in every pic. The public love her for being able to make this far but hate her for spoiling every pic. A poor soul sas" She might be a celebrity, but that does give her the right to intrude in every pic, we need our space too". Even the female folks are nt enjoying this too much and prefer to keep her out of the pic, but she just wont oblige.
SSINGH:
there is this friend of mine who is a die hard drunkard. Not literally and not figuratively either. Give him chicken and he ll rape the chicken. Give him booze and he ll rape all others. seemingly true. One who loses all senses to the extent that he answer simple questions like 1+1=1. That is accepted.. but some other things are nt. Anyway cheers to my friend.
AMIT:
Its a bird, Its a plane.. No its spiderman.. well actually, this spiderman's alter ego is a dude named *mitwa.. He is just like spiderman.. He can ride bikes.. and fall off them.. he can ride bikes again and again fall off them.. ride again and fall off again.. phew.. He just does nt seem to get tired. This, to the extent that kids now are having a small toy of karijma and their hero spidey at some distance from the toy(to show that he just fell). On being asked what he thought of the kids.. he replied" these kids are evil.. they derive pleasure from others pains.. leave them in bihar for a month with me.. "aisa maar maarenge na.. ki saas yaad dilaa denge"
Wel.. in any way.. we love you spidey;)
KK
If there is something called cult patriotism, it emanates from one person, our very own friend KK. The fervent patriotism that he exhibits might put even the Thakrey's to shame. It all started after he watched the cult movie Deshdrohi and it has left an indelible mark on the immpressionable mind. Jai maharashtra and Jai Colapur are the only greetings acceptable to him, thereby forcing him to join a company dominated by Maharashtrians. So much is the frenzy that the song ati kya khandala is heard as aati kya Colapur in his laptop. Once a kid who had lost his way asked Mr. KK which way dilli ki gali was and the what happened after was indeed a spectacle. He took a stone from the ground, bludgeoned the kid's finger after he did that to himself and asked the Kid, "Ye Maharashtra ka khoon, Ye Dilli wale ka khoon, Bataa kaunsa mera khoon kaunsa tera khoon".The kid wailed and sad.. "Mujhe Kya pataa" Uhh.. Umm.. Well.. Mr.KK got the question wrong and could only come up with the reply "Can you repeat the question??"
Mantha:
Thank god that Mantha is not born a protestant. You must ve heard about the Seven Deadly Sins, Well, Mantha would be serving the gates of purgatory seven days a week for 365 days for it is only one sin that he commits everyday. 'Gluttony'. So, one deadly sin multiplied n times, where n tends to infinity, bechara calculus.. even that is scared to arrive at an answer. I tried finding out how he manages to remain hungry all the while and pat came the reply ' Did you know about the bovine animals like cows keep stock of food in their stomach and re eat them when actually hungry. See its scientific science has an answer for all.. and people call me adjectives like bakasur, Ghatotkach, Hungry Panda for no reason. After all the world is comin to an end in 2012. So i am being watchful and acting smart.." He further added that he would ve liked to quote chatur Ramalingam from 3 Idiots." End mein main Hansoonga aur tum sab ro oge.. Huhuaaaaaa".. Well.. we do shed tears when we come to think of your offspings Mantha.. Junior Bakaasurs.. lol;)!!
And for the ones i've missed out.. I m tired.. may be I ll continue some other day.. till then i hope u've read and enjoyed;);)
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Opened my mailbox at work to find a mail saying we need to come up with something whacky or romantic as a part of Tata Tetley's valentine's day celebrations. The quote had to have the words free, tea, mind and better and this is what i came up with.. I dunno if its gonna fetch me anything.. but then i was happy with it;) Here it goes for you now..
Whenever in doubt,close ur eyes and have a cup of tea
it'll make ur mind wander wild and free
and in case that doesnt make u feel any better
open ur eyes darling, u ll be sure to find me;);)
Hugs, Love and Kisses!!
Whenever in doubt,close ur eyes and have a cup of tea
it'll make ur mind wander wild and free
and in case that doesnt make u feel any better
open ur eyes darling, u ll be sure to find me;);)
Hugs, Love and Kisses!!
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