What If?

Philosophy seems to be taking a toll on me. Last class Professor asked us to take up an interesting exercise. We were asked to list down questions that complete 'What if'. He asked us to let our imagination run wild. I tried my hand and here is my list:
What If
1. I knew the real purpose of life?
2. We all got what we wanted?
3. Money did not matter?
4. Religion was not given so much importance in the world?
5. Nuclear bombs were actually used again?
6. We are not alone in this universe?
7. There was no pain?
8. The was indeed god?
9. I possessed all knowledge?
10. Magic was real?
Mind you this is the order of questions on my mind. Kind of a priority list of the first few things that came up. Lets me know what kind of person I am. And what thoughts dominate my mind. Try it. I am sure it will help you.

Man-o-Pause

Ok.. So India is progressing.. We are.. We have people who are openly displaying dissent. There are public parades of Public Display of Affection. May be that is progress. Progress of minds. The liberty to say ‘please mind your own business’. ‘Shut the fuck up’. And that ‘I don’t care’. I am an MBA. I am taught to rely only on metrics to judge a parameter. Not random impressions. Or conclusions.

Hmmm. So why am I writing this. I am writing this to argue whether we are actually progressing. I recently witnessed the session of a moderately popular stand up comedian. And yes he was trying to be funny. And yes he was a guy. And yes, he made fun of how a random guy in India is. Deprived. Unromantic. Horny. Nothing unreal about it. The only reason we laughed was because we resonated with what he said. It seemed like it was our story. And I realized we all love it when we see ourselves, or may be want to see ourselves in the story being told. Be it movies. Be it any other depiction.

I have no issues in poking fun at my own self. But what about the other sex? Have we reached a stage where Indian women can actually make fun of their true selves and not be uncomfortable with it? Are they ready to discuss their fantasies, fears and favors out in the open? The scene that we witnessed today was that all the guys burst out in laughter the moment there was a random innuendo of how sad it was not to get a girl and that how we satisfy ourselves. And its true. But we take pride in it. So it set me wondering why are nt we comfortable with women doing the same. Who is it that prevents it from happening. Are the women themselves insecure? Or is it that the chauvinistic men would not allow this?

As I see there is a transition of generation that happens every 10-15 years. The previous generation looks at the subsequent generation with contempt. There is also only a certain degree of freedom that one shares with the other. Even I did flinch at some of the sexual innuendos wondering “are the senior folks uncomfortable?” But I would probably want progress to be ascertained when both the sexes are free in discussing any random thing under the sun without fear. Humor is to be taken in good stead after all. Although the female side of story still remains a mystery to most Indian men. I am sure that it is still difficult to say how the womenfolk enjoy their humor. How or what they find sexy. How wild are their fantasies. All is a mystery.

It might be that I am writing this because I want the mystery unraveled. I am writing this may be because the hypothesis of progress was taken a length too far. May be, may be not. But it would be great to see that even women are good sport. It would nt be blasphemy for women to actually make fun of themselves. But I doubt this thing will happen. After all some things are better left to imagination. May be.

A what..? Hug??

What is in a hug? I did dare to ask myself. It seemed rather obnoxious to me. Even while I was an adolescent, we were brought up in a paternalistic culture. While respect to elders was of utmost importance, evidence of affection was still not appreciated. It was natural that I never hugged my mother, brother , leave alone my father. I was among the ones who would rather shove off my brother at the slightest hint of depicting an outburst of affection. What was the need? After all, we loved each other and it should have been understood without having to say it.

Unfortunately it did nt. I remember an incident when my mom had complained, rather cried for not giving her enough time, for not telling her the three magical words “I love you” and for not giving her a plain hug when it mattered, while one of our cousins were the ones who made their affection to their mothers known to the society. I dismissed it as a routine pang of emotion of the womenfolk. It seemed silly as to how trivial a thing could impact the relationship as strong as mother-son. I was wrong.

Let me iterate a harsh truth to you all. We live in a world where we can muster sweet nothings over and over again, for hours together and umpteen times a day to our better halves, candy floss or whatever sobriquet you wish to give to the designated person but we can not last a minute of conversation with our dads. I wondered if I was the only one who was out of topics when I spoke to my dad over the phone but soon I realized that most of my generation adults face the same plight.

I have lived 25 precious years of my life. My dad is now 50+. We will live in this world for many more years to come but separated by distance and the imaginary wall of self evident love. I shudder at the fact that when the day of separation arrives, I still would not have gathered the courage to have given him a long and armful of hug and told him how much he matters to me, told him that though we have nt spoken much, I wish to know how his childhood had been, who his first love was and what he wanted to be in life.

Even now I can gather the courage to tell you this only on paper for I fear how you would react, for if you would think that your son was less of man for wanting to give you a hug. But beneath those sunken eyes, behind that silent speech and beyond those deep thoughts, I am sure even you want to give me a hug. And trust me, it helps, it helps ease the pain, it helps transcend the barriers. All it takes is one tight hug dad. One tight hug.